Oh, yeah. By the way, Farrah Fawcett died. Now back to our macabre Michael Jackson obsession …
I feel sorry for Farrah. I was 8-years old in 1978–and there was NOTHING hotter than Farrah. Not even Michael Jackson. The infamous poster of FF–with her perkiness poking from that red-orange disco top–was thumb-tacked to every teenaged boy’s bedroom wall at the [...]
Woe to thee, O Jon and Kate
As a long-time OCD enthusiast, I’m compelled to perform countless weird rituals coaxing the world to continue spinning on its axis and keeping gravity from allowing the bulk of humanity to float away into the cold, dark void of space. Just call it community service. In a similar way, ancient Aztec sorcerers (without the benefit of the Two P’s–Paxil and Prozac) [...]
My Dog Is An Alien: Meet BUSTAH
I’d like to take a couple moments to introduce my dog, Bustah.
Bustah is a three year old Boston Terrier who was born part of a small litter of puppies in Huntsville, Alabama. Bustah and his mom don’t talk anymore after she admitted she wasn’t exactly sure who his daddy was. Bustah says she’s just a bitch and that she’s [...]
Too Late For Jon and Kate? Cross Your Fingers…
One more knuckle-biting night until we get to see the wheels come off the Jon and Kate breeding experiment. TLC executives must be beside themselves with satanic glee. What better end for a reality show that revolves around an emasculated da-da, a hyper-bitchy mommy and eight gruesomely adorable young-un’s than a Divorce: American Style?
Of course, this [...]
Too late for Jon and Kate
Okay. I watched again. I’m ashamed. I feel so…dirty. I’m such a greasy, nasty hypocrite. I spend a considerable amount of time yapping about reality TV and how disgusting, mindless, exploitive (and–at least from the perspective of the viewer–addictive) the genre often is…and I wake up one day with another ugly monkey on my back…this crack-addled [...]
Fly Killah
Recently, US President Obama–during a television interview–was witnessed MURDERING an innocent, much smaller creature. A housefly. The reaction to this bloodthirsty crime was horror and disbelief by many of my fellow Americans. Could it be that we had elected a coldblooded killer as our commander-in-chief?
Uhm…not quite. The horror and repulsion was mostly courtesy of the [...]
Jon and Kate Plus 8 Plus Birth Control
If there is ANYTHING more horrible on TV than the hit show Jon and Kate Plus 8, I haven’t seen or heard of it. The fact that I actually watched this semiprecious turd for the best part of an hour is something I’m not exactly proud of. But as I’ve said before, I consider it “research” to [...]
10 More Extremely Disturbing
10 More Extremely Disturbing Movies
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Shine On
I lost an old friend today; shine on Joel, you Crazy Diamond.
I can only hope that someday…somewhere…somehow, maybe we can sit down with The Wizard between us, Pink Floyd (or Artist, God and Doctor?) playing on the stereo, the Young Ones playing backup off an endless loop Betamax, and another chance at that Conversation I’m now wishing like [...]
This Vampire Sucks…
I’m obviously just not kool enough to watch the MTV Movie Awards. At least, not when its live. Bad things happen…take for instance the last time I watched it live, when I was treated to the disintegration of one of the finest bands my generation ever produced: Rage Against The Machine. Err…well maybe that actually occurred [...]
