The End is Nigh…well, perhaps not NIGH nigh

ANOTHER self-styled messiah gets it on with sweet young thangs. 

“I said, ‘Well, Michael, I’ve been having this thought that I just needed to come up here and take off all my clothes. Really.’ And he looks at me, and he kinda  smiles. So I said, ‘Well, shall I?’  And he thought for just a minute, and he was quiet, and I knew he was listening for Father’s instructions. And he said, ‘You may.’ And so, I did. And then he said he would hold me. I hadn’t even thought of that, it hadn’t even crossed my mind.”

“You just knew you needed to get naked with him?”

“Yeah. I just knew that this needed to be literally, physically naked. So he took…we went to the bedroom, and laid down.”  [a conversation between two teenaged girls and BBC documentarian Ben Anthony about their ‘sudden command from God’ to get down and get nekkid.]

 

Before I gave in to the power of the Internet, I got my information the same way everybody did in the last few years of the 20th century: I mindlessly soaked up hours of television. Now, I mindlessly soak up hours of uTube. But one thing I DO consider an improvement: my information sources are much more varied in 2008 than they were in 1998. For example: in 1998, I depended much more heavily on American journalism to bring me Truth, Justice and the American Way.

<pause>

Sorry. It hurts to laugh. (I think I wet my pants.)

Anyways…

Nowdays, I get to watch things from around the world…and some of the most interesting things I’ve watched recently have been BBC documentaries filmed in America about American subjects and American people. What I find a little scary, however, is how many of these stories I’ve never heard of before! Take for instance British film maker Ben Anthony’s disturbing piece of work on an apocalyptic End-time religious cult in New Mexico. These people (about 40 of them, total–and most of them women) are followers of your basic soft-spoken charismatic nut-job: a 66-year old former sailor named Wayne Bent (aka ‘Michael’ aka ‘Michael Travesser’ aka Jesus). ‘Michael’ had managed to convince a group of former Seventh-Day Adventists that the world was going to end. Heard it before, right? So have I. The weird thing is, this documentary (which I believe was pretty fair, even though Anthony was obviously buying none of what Michael was selling) is the first time I had heard of this group. Apparently, Michael had been told by God (in addition to the specific instructions on performing a weird ritual involving seven virgins that Anthony was able to film some of) that the world would end on October 31, 2006.

Obviously, things didn’t go according to plan.

But why wasn’t the American media all over this–and if they WERE, where was the FBI with their tanks and CS gas, and where was the ATF with their “shoot first, negotiate later” policy they used so successfully during the whole Branch Davidian fiasco in Waco? I mean, obviously we have a problem in this country with guys who say they’re Jesus reincarnated, set a date for destiny, and then start sexing teenage girls.

I must have missed that sermon in my own religious upbringing.

And though I am often critical of religious wackery, I’m starting to think maybe creating one’s own cult might just be the road to fame and fortune I have so often sought.

Obviously, if some 66-year old geezer with some wasteland in New Mexico and a couple trailers can convince these people to give him all their money AND their children, then maybe he knows something I don’t.

Or maybe….naw. Well….

maybe he IS who he says he is…?

Hey, you know, if that’s the case, then look, I sometimes use humor as a way to conceal my lack of self-confidence. I didn’t really MEAN any of that stuff about you being a nut-job. Ok? Michael?

Shit.

   

 

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